Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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