Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize