to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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