I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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