Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize