ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Randomize
