One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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