Three words: puerto rican gang bang
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
