So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
