who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize
