your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
