Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
