I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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