drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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