I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
