Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
