I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
