she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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