She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
