Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
