Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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