Why does Corona taste like a burp?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You took a bar mat shot.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize