he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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