Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
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