i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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