I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
