so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
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Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
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If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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