My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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