Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
