and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm bleeding and have questions
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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