ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
