Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
