it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
