I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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