If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
