What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
