Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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