Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
