They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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