porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
