I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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