butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
