I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
