She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
