Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
