his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
