oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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