dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize