That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Do you remember whose house we're in?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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