i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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