Already got asked if we're dating
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
