carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
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