Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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