No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
