that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
