i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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