This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE