The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.