Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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