Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.