Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
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i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
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I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.