if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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