Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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