Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
